So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
