Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
