And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
