I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
