He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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