I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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