I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
