Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
