Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
