haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
