I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah