he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.