is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.