How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?