Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
