Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
