My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
