I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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