Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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