Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
