Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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