it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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