Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
