what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You ruined the universe
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
