I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
