You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize