Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
