We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize