oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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