I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
