Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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