The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
