I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"