I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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