thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
