just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
