I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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