Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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