He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
