Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why didn't you poke me back
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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