i would punch a child for taco bell
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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