So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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