Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
