Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
