Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
