sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize