we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
