It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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