sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
