Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
