Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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