So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MIDGETS
????
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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