just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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