Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
