i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
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I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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