Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
