I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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