I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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