He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
