So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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