there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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