tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize