So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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