I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Fuck appropriateness.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
