I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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